Some of the shortest chapters ever: SSBM Haikus
by 177223
Summary: Haikus. Yes, those 5-7-5 poems we all love. Except about the smashers. Chapter 4: DK. Read and review!
1. Young Link, in which the author spazzes ...

A/N: Guess who? I bet you thought you were rid of me for a while... too bad then. I have another fic now... And here it is.  
  
Roy: That was the stupidest introduction I've ever seen...  
  
I know. But I am the author so I can do this.  
  
Roy: Do wha- *is tied to a tree*  
  
Here's the fic.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't  
  
own Nintendo. But I did  
  
write these haikus. Here.  
  
  
  
Chapitre Un  
  
Young Link  
  
  
  
Young Link, why do you  
  
Have that flame on your arrows?  
  
You're not supposed to.  
  
  
  
Link, why did you give  
  
Young Link those fire arrows?  
  
Hyrule is in flames.  
  
  
  
I only pray that  
  
Young Link has no light arrows.  
  
*he grins evilly*  
  
  
  
Young Link got a light  
  
Arrow. I hope you can run  
  
Away really fast.  
  
  
  
Young Link is loose on  
  
The whole wide world. Be afraid.  
  
Be very afraid.  
  
  
  
His magic meter  
  
Is now empty. Don't relax;  
  
He has green potion.  
  
  
  
The Young Link part is  
  
Over. But maybe there will  
  
Be some more. Who knows?  
  
  
  
I don't know. But can  
  
We please get off the subject  
  
Of Young Link? Thank you.  
  
  
  
So there you have it. Review. Tell me if I should write more. Or who I should write about. These sentences are really choppy, huh? Lack of sleep. Yosh. Just review it. Next chapter could be Mario. I have a few written already. Good. Okay, shutting up now. 


	2. Mario, in which the author shows her Sou...

Bonjourno! Back for another inevitably short chapter.  
  
STANDARD DISCLAIMER: make one up. I don't care.  
  
Here's the haikus, y'all...  
  
  
  
On to Mario...  
  
The little red plumber. That's  
  
The theme for the first.  
  
  
  
Little red plumber...  
  
Don't you just hate it when we  
  
Call you stuff like that?  
  
  
  
Mario, is it  
  
Lucky to wear that red hat?  
  
I want one of those!  
  
  
  
Is it annoying  
  
That your first name is the same  
  
Thing as your last name?  
  
  
  
Mario, of all  
  
The games you've been in, which is  
  
The best? Sunshine rocks!  
  
  
  
Of course, I have a  
  
Fascination with shiny  
  
Things. But that's just me.  
  
  
  
Mario, do you  
  
Ever change your clothes? You don't  
  
Seem to smell funny...  
  
  
  
Not like I could smell  
  
you anyway... Okay, did  
  
that sound strange to y'all?  
  
  
  
A/N: Okay, that was short. D'oh. And I'm allowed to say y'all cuz I'm a bona fide sutherner. So get over it. And review. Yes, that would be nice. 


	3. Roy, in which the author is at school

A/N:  
  
  
  
These will be typed up  
  
soon but if you're reading this  
  
I did it. So there.  
  
  
  
O.o Alrighty then, I'm trying uploading this a different way... If it works, that's good. If it doesn't....  
  
Disclaimer: I own SSBM. Yeah right.  
  
A/N part 2: This chapter is full of random haikus that have absolutely nothing to do with Roy, and the chapter is supposed to be all about Roy. SO... you can tell the difference. The extra haikus were just ones I wrote while I was writing the Roy ones. They all go together. And I wrote them all at school.  
  
  
  
Never eat Jolly  
  
Ranchers with a retainer.  
  
It just doesn't work.  
  
  
  
Alas, Roy. The guy  
  
with the really red hair. He  
  
is truly too cute.  
  
  
  
He can't jump very  
  
high, but he sure can set stuff  
  
on fire! Himself, too!  
  
  
  
This Jolly Rancher  
  
is really good. You know, the  
  
grape ones? Shutting up.  
  
  
  
Back to Roy. You know,  
  
I'm totally loving that  
  
cape. Give me that thing!  
  
  
  
There's Marth/Zelda, there's  
  
Link/Zelda, but Roy? He gets  
  
all of the fangirls.  
  
  
  
Linzy: *huggles Roy*  
  
Roy: Please get away from me.  
  
Linzy: Okay. *grins*  
  
  
  
Score! I made it through  
  
an entire chapter without  
  
saying y'all. Almost.  
  
  
  
That's the thing I love  
  
about haikus. They take like  
  
a minute to write.  
  
  
  
On the other hand  
  
I *should* be working on my  
  
other fics. So blah.  
  
  
  
Procrastination  
  
dang that's a long word... Define  
  
it? I will later.  
  
  
  
Roy uses the force.  
  
The force of gel. I just love  
  
his hair! I love it!  
  
  
  
There's a guy with a  
  
chainsaw outside the window.  
  
He's whacking a bush.  
  
  
  
Rhonda bursts through the  
  
door, pulls out a bazooka,  
  
and yells, "Roy is mine!"  
  
  
  
Roy hides under a  
  
large... thing. But it is no match  
  
for that bazooka.  
  
  
  
Hee hee, I love this  
  
song. Avril Lavigne's Sk8tr  
  
Boi. See you later.  
  
  
  
A/N: I typed these up listening to Avril Lavigne (not Linkin Park??? *gasp!*)  
  
And there really was a guy with a chainsaw outside during history. 


	4. DK, in which the author is in math class

Ch. 4 of Haikus: DK. I wrote these a long time ago...  
And I don't own SSBM.  
  
DK has such an  
Easy job. He just sits and  
Eats the bananas.  
  
I've taken a hat  
From Mario and a cape  
From Roy... DK's tie!  
  
*yawns and falls over*  
Roy: That applies to DK?  
No, I'm in math class.  
  
*stares at the ceiling*  
DK: I'll take your math quiz!  
He's making me fail.  
  
I'm serious now.  
DK: *flies by on a swan*  
Okay, not really.  
  
DK: Donkey Kong  
So is LK Linzy Kong?  
I'm so confused...  
  
DK had lots of  
Games. DKC 1, 2, 3...  
Hey, that rhymes! AWESOME!  
  
Abbreviations  
Kill the point of haikus. But  
Somehow I don't care...  
  
Donkey, Diddy Kong  
Dixie, Funky, Cranky Kong  
Even syllables.  
  
Winky, Wrinkly Kong  
Tiny, Chunky, Lanky Kong  
Candy, the GIRLFRIEND...  
  
I'm sure I missed a  
Bunch. Like Swanky and Kiddy.  
Oops. I'm just tired.  
  
What else can I say  
About Donkey Kong? He used  
To be a bad guy...  
  
Donkey Kong country...  
Donkey Kong 64... his  
Games have long titles.  
  
How does he eat all  
Those bananas? Doesn't he  
Ever get full? Huh?  
  
He plays the bongos,  
Rides rhinos, and gets kidnapped.  
Rock on, Donkey Kong.  
  
The end! I don't know who to do next..... ideas welcome! Review! 


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